How did we feel about new Bachelor, Matt James, praying on the season premiere?
First of all, Matt James seems like a teary-eyed SWEETIE. He was kind and vulnerable and transparent and he is totally lovable and not douchey at all so far. WIN!
So how did we feel about the praying moment?
Historically for me, based on my own upbringing and relationship to faith, using “God” language tends to throw me off.
But last night I had a different response.
As Matt was poised to make his initial announcement to his group of eligible bachelorettes he looked around the room, took a breath, and then told us he was throwing his plan out the window. Instead, he decided to pray aloud.
I loved it.
Here’s why:
1) Matt is clearly in touch with what he’s experiencing and knows how to self sooth. He said he “shoots up prayers to put himself at ease.”
Matt reminds us that sexiness is not the absence of nerves. It is not staying cool and collected all of the time.
Sexiness is feeling the feelings and expressing them. It is having coping mechanisms, to regulate our own emotional and mental health. A+!
2) Matt unapologetically leads with his authentic self and his values. In this case, praying hooked the people it was meant to hook and turned off the people it was meant to turn off, which is perfect.
When we’re treating others with kindness, generosity, and transparency, there is no “strong and wrong”. There is only, “strong will help others see what is or isn’t right for them.”
So how might I have felt in that room?
Although praying in this way isn’t my jam, I would’ve asked myself, “What is the praying for? Can I get on board with that?” In this way, I can lead with empathy and curiosity over judgement.
I have my own methods of self soothing and I respect the shit out of the fact that Matt does too.
