Against The Dating Coaching Industry

SO much dating advice out there is awful, problematic, and downright rooted in systems of oppression. I am totally sick of it.

I’m sick of dating advice that tells you to get in “shape”. I’m sick of gendered dating advice. I sick of the, “How To Understand Your Man” articles. No! Let’s all be better and try to untangle the ways in which society has poisoned our innate ability to connect with others.

Connection can exist everywhere, in any package. Let’s appreciate that gifts can come in all shapes and sizes, with or without wrapping paper, bought local or shipped internationally. Let’s focus on each other’s essence and try to rid ourselves of the rest of this hierarchal bullshit. 

So, in the spirit of transparency, here is my take:

I will not teach you how to understand him. I will not tell you to change who you are to be more palatable by society’s standards. 

I will teach you how to communicate effectively. To be in touch with what you are feeling and to express it in a way that allows other people to hear you without getting defensive.

I will encourage you to get so close to yourself, to love yourself so deeply, that you do not pin your worth on whether or not another person likes you like that. 

I will not tell you romantic love is the most important thing in this world. 

I will tell you that love, period, is. And the good news is, love can be cultivated and found in many places outside of a primary partner. 

I will not tell you that we must always be looking for long term, committed relationships. 

I will tell you to be honest with what you are looking for and to express that accordingly. 

I will not tell you to play games in order to get someone’s attention. 

I will tell you to foster your own autonomy, to cultivate your own interests. In this way, other people will be inherently interested in your ability to be interested. 

I will not tell you that I will help you find your person. 

I will tell you that I’ll help you connect with all types of people and that soulmates come in many different forms of connections. 

I will not tell you to ignore your intuition.

I will tell you that approaching people with curiosity over judgment will help you receive more value from interactions you have regardless of outcomes. 

I do this work because I think we have a ton to teach each other, and adjusting our mindset around dating will help us be more available to receive those gifts.

There is no “too taboo” in the space I’m creating. Just high quality, useful, heart-centered, anti-oppressive, non-gendered information for kind, transparent, and generous daters.

Sound like it’s for you? Let’s chat.